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Changing Directions

 

I found myself in a new place.  A year ago I had no idea I’d be here.  I knew of the place, seen the picture and even gotten the postcards.  I slowly occurred to me that I had arrived, I did not just wake up here.

Could it be?  That we are here and here to stay?  I believe so now.  We’ve been here 9 months now and I don’t ever want to go back.

I’ve been trying to tell my friends and those I meet about this wonderful place.  This place my child thrives and flourishes.  Where he grows and loves and lives in joy and happiness all day long, every day now.

How could you not want that for your own child?  I can’t buy you a ticket to get here.  Each parent I approach about this new place seems skeptical.  It can’t be that wonderful as I tell it.  They don’t see how they too can be here, live here.  This place of awesome!

I understand that it takes an open mind and an open door to get here.  You have to be in the right place mentally to travel here, to transition and to move to this place.

It is a difficult road, not unlike the road you are already traveling on.  The one with hurdles and pitfalls around every bend.  Where you struggle to drudge on yet feel you have no other choice.  There is no turning back, the road you’ve traveled is one-way and less traveled than the one others have taken.  Theirs seems too nice and easy and fun.  Yours is drudgery, yet you own it, it is yours and parts of it you love and won’t trade in.

But step one foot over, change your pace and I know you’ll arrive here.  I know there will be more rewards for the path you travel.  You too can live with more joy, more rewards.

You leave some, if not all, of the heartache and struggle behind.  See your child thrive to be the person they were born to be, not lost in the heavy burden they take on being themselves on this path they travel with you.

You don’t keep to this path by choice, you’d happily take that more traveled road, with the other parents and their daily celebrations, and they look like they are having so much fun.

You can’t see that path next you, so close you might almost step on it by accident.  You have dug into that road with your whole being, taking every breath there and keeping to the task like no one knows, it might be hard to let go, to know another way.  The new road will take some getting used to, the stepping pattern different from what you have already been doing for so long.

Don’t be afraid or question it too much.  It is a path that must be focused on, all or none commitment.  The road is not very obvious and to those who don’t commit to it, it will bring you back to the path you were already on.  It is easy to slip back at the start, keep the focus and the path will become more obvious.  The road will become clear to the eye, the heart and the goals.

Traveling on this road began 9 months ago.  It started when I felt I had it a major roadblock with our son.  His anxiety and response to situations became unbearable.  I was at a fork.  Do we do pharmaceutical intervention?  Do we seek more alternative help for his issues?  Do we buckles down and just keep on keeping on?

I had been trying to look way down the road, where were we headed?  Was it a lifetime of struggling for this child who will become a grown adult making his own choices be it good or bad?  There would come a time when I could not protect him or influence his choices and it scared me.  I could not freeze time, we were moving forward in some direction whether I liked it or not.

Suddenly another choice, a new clearing amongst the road choices became apparent.  Change the foods he eats; change the chemical reactions that happen in his body that affect his moods and behaviors.  On a leap of faith, we jumped the roadblock and started down this road.

It was bumpy and windy.  At times it resembled the old path, when he ate something that affected him the old way, it was rough.  We would put more effort into staying on the road, not letting us get lazy and sway back to old habits and patterns.  We focused on our new stride.

We came to a plateau, a relief from the uphill battling we’ve been on.  These would become a respite, but not enough to believe it was getting better.  Yet the old road seemed too foreign, nowhere in sight and no longer an option.

Then one day, we arrived at the oasis in the dessert of hope.  It was real and tangible.  We could drink the cool water of joy.  Our son was there, he was happy and joyful.

He emerged into life.  I say into, where he had been lost in existence, not living but fearing and just being, not living a joyous happy life.  His eyes shone.  The jokes and puns and ability to laugh with us and AT himself emerged.  This is our, ‘Welcome to where you were meant to be’ sign.  The parade and streamers and big band played in my heart.

We are here, this wonderful place of awesome.  I know you can be here too; I can help encourage you to change the path, to step onto the road.  Trust me, you can get here too, put the priority there and soon the rewards will be better than you hoped for.

For the cool springs are always the best after the hardest climbs.

I will keep the lemonade cold for you, please come soon.

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  1. Ariella says:

    Great post! I love it! :)

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